LOCKED MENTALITY OF SOCIETY -: “WHERE IS THE KEY”

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By Aman Kumar Singh

The title of this article depicts what I will be trying to deliver here through words. The word Locked here conveys how we all are stuck in some kind of hopes and fake believes that are given by the society . The power of self thinking has been vanished and we are made to believe to what ten people(Society) will chant in our ear. Meanwhile the voice and power of self diminishes day by day, which throws the individual in false society trap, where your opinion or your mind doesn’t matters anymore.
This article will be elaborating two different stories but interconnected to each other, conveying the message showing how much locked we all are.
“Chanda lives in a high rise building , Chanda’s husband is a billionaire , her husband comes home drunk everyday and beats her , sometimes even when he is not drunk too. Chanda is afraid to tell this to her parents or complaints against him because of long going belief of society, she tolerates it everyday , with the bruises on her face, when asked , accident she replies, and new excuses every time. And sadly one day Chanda was found dead. Reason -: no one knows.
The same story goes with Kaushalya whose husband is not educated and is a daily wage worker and lives in rural area, Kaushalya also is just another victim whom we lost because of the cruelty.”

Do any one of you know why this happened and why Chanda and Kaushalya were the victims of this cruelty or why does their husband beat them?
Also why doesn’t a person displays anger over a person who is more stronger than them? Its just because our system is built in a manner where we suppress the weaker ones.
Where does it come from? What is it? And why any of the person who is born with the same rights as everyone of us has to tolerate this much? Here is the answer . this is nothing more but some ‘False sense of Masculinity’ that is given by the society to a Man. We need to understand that there are women who face this situation everyday and comes out and protects themselves from this cruelty of the society and their beliefs . Also, we need to believe that there are many other women / Girls who are the silent observer of this cruelty, and we being in the society despite the believe we treat women as DEVI/ Goddess in our country should be blamed for this. We are the one who should be blamed beforehand because we believe in supporting the patriarchy and fake masculinity. We need to blame ourselves , we need to blame the society , how we are in the 21st century and our society made us to believe this disbelieves and to believe that there are no alternatives to patriarchy in our society. In our mythologies as well Even the pandavas were masculine so the kauravas were but the difference clearly was there one stood for the protection of women and other tried to disrespect her.
The so called society has “locked the mentality” so the perpetrators doesn’t stop and the victims don’t speak . The victim is traumatized and made to belief that if these things will come out,she will be the one who will be blamed and her family will be shamed in front of the society “ Chaar log kya kahenge” or if you will complaint you will have to come back to home , people will ask “ How can you keep your married daughter at home”? this layer of suffocation gets hardened day by day and makes a living hell for the women and takes thousands and lakhs of life like Chanda and Kaushalya. Also many people think that education plays really great part in these situations but as per research’s the most educated and the completely uneducated one`s both can do this . We also need to deliberate that how we are brought up in a society that has taught us “You are a boy and you are masculine and a girl is treated as someone she is weak ,who is destined to marry a boy to take care of him and his family. This is how our mentalities are locked by the society.We being the part of the society have to educate ourselves and everyone that he is a boy , she is a girl , both are equal and are the future of this nation”.
So where is the key to this locker room? Don’t we feel the necessity to expose this locker room first? Don’t we think that we being the part of society should change the complete structure? The four people referred as “CHAAR LOG” should come
forward first and break this stereotype of male masculinity and power show over the women.
We need a society where both men and women should be scared of the society before doing any sort of cruelty . We need to be supportive to the victim and push them ahead so that they can themselves come forward for their rights. The need of the hour is to understand the stigma which has pushed women to margin and therefore we need to break this patriarchal setup .It is not only the males who should support but there is a need of female to uplift other females too.

Although the safety of women is globally discussed topic,it is a high time that we too make things pretty clear that mentalities are not locked anymore with burden of disbelieves and pressures of society.
The second story goes like ,“Ram who was travelling via bus to his college, The bus went through a sudden break because of a speed breaker everyone got unbalanced and so was Ram and he fell over at a girl. The girl who claimed to be a feminist knew that it was an unintentional fall because of the breaker, still she yelled and slapped Ram . Few people who were sitting around captured the incident in their smart phones and posted it on different social sites, which went viral, Ram faced a lot of criticism and shame in the society. He couldn’t handled the pressure, ended up committing suicide.”
The first phase of feminism started in India in mid 19th century with motives to provide equality and equal status to the women in the country. This was done to break the fetter which was tied by the society on them. However, feminism which was brought as the hammer to break the fetter initially, but now it is used as the weapon against men. We agree to the fact that women needs to be uplifted in society ,but it is totally not OK men are being the part of many such atrocities and are being perpetuated in the name of “BEING A FEMINIST”. The major role players of this action is none other than the online society that is the “Social Media”, People used to call Television the ‘IDIOT BOX or Buddhu Box’ but now we should believe that the social media is proving itself to be the biggest ‘idiot box’. How social media is spreading fake news rampantly and people are believing it without even verifying it.
A single Whatsapp forward, a single Facebook/Twitter Post can completely demolish men’s reputation without any court proceedings .Social media these days act as a court in themselves, who are very blunt in giving decisions themselves. Individuals acts as lawyers and judges in the same case.. We need to understand that we have failed as a society while going for social media trials. Just like feminism was for different thing and is now different these days, the same goes with the Social media , it was invented to connect people and display their happiness , but these days social media is disconnecting people, spreading hatred and destroying reputation and respect for just some likes, loves and and for going viral.
For instance , if a boy commits a mistake no matter how small it is and how unintentional it is publicly, he is known to be the perpetrator and many feminists organization will come down filing tons of cases and shaming the boy publicly. If the same incidence is repeated by girl it is ignored in the name of being a girl , she is portrayed to be heroic and known as the lady with guts. The sad truth is, in India Men are guilty until proven innocent and a girl is proven innocent until proved guilty. Taking the #METOO Movement into consideration it indeed brought up many cases but on the other side of coin many of them misused it too just for getting some name fame or to ruin someone’s life.

The best case I can remember of , in line of discussion is we have seen the Sarvjeet Singh’s case ,where he was falsely accused by a girl and a case was filed against him for eve teasing, after 4 years of facing public shaming and being called pervert and eve teaser he was finally proven Not guilty . He survived and fought and the girl didn’t even came for the hearing even once. But the sad truth is not every boy is as brave like Sarvjeet , few days back we lost our 17 years old brother Manav who was a resident of South Delhi who didn’t have the guts to face the false accusation by people and society so he quit . Not because he was wrong but the society made him feel ashamed , the society locked the mentality of people that only boys could commit a mistake. If we see there are tons of cases are there like this to deliberate upon how men are portrayed as criminals and wrong doers. Also if we look carefully there are a lot of codified and uncodified laws for protecting the interest of the women and when we search carefully we will find there are barely 5-10 laws which protects the interest of men and that too not completely. We can see that there are tons of NGOs and various other organizations where a female can reach to for protection of her rights and get remedies. Are there any for men? This is the problem with the society as explained previously that the feminism and the wish of getting famous overnight has reached to an extent which made men to demand for the protection by laws .Men are also sexually harassed, they are also getting molested, they are also facing a lot of fake eve teasing cases , a lot of pseudo dowry cases, how will the justice be delivered when our society has locked the mind that only men are culprit and women can never do wrong to men . We see how the mistakes made by females is ignored under the pressure of feminist organization and societies influence. Also we need to think on how we many men are losing lives day by day ,who are coming under burden of these fake cases and are not able to face the public shaming.
So here arises the need for the “GENDER NEUTRAL LAWS” to deliver fair and equal justice for all including Men, Women and the LGBTQI community too, All the laws including IPC and Constitution which talks about equality to women and girls with words HER/HERSELF/SHE should be changed with “WHOMSOEVER” be it Article 14-15 of Constitution Or Section 354 , 376 of IPC and many other . The Gender Neutral laws will not completely make up the things immediately but it will be a great process in sorting this problem out.
We need to fix it in our mind that we are not sheeps who will follow the herd ,we have given brains to be reasonable and to think openly and to be on the right path that’s why we are called human. We don’t have to make everything about MEN vs. WOMEN we can rather make it HUMAN vs. EVIL Society. The society which has locked the brain and mentality of people has to be broken. we need to look at ourselves first and then think of enacting someone else`s dignity ourselves. The social media trial should end right away and anything that was made for any purpose should not be misused in the name of being a pseudo victim.

CONCLUSION
The above article which talks about different aspects to know how with changing of time the demands changes. How gender neutrality has become one of the biggest need of the hour. Once there was a patriarchal society with belief of masculinity so that laws and organizations came up for protection of women. With the passing of time it started getting misused on that level that here comes the need of laws that protects men . It is all just because of carrying the disbelieves of society. How we are supporting it unknowingly. So there is urgent need to understand that feminism is good but feminazism, pseudo feminism, patriarchy and fake masculinity all comes from a single source that is “DISBELIEF” and can destroy the entire system. We need to stop supporting it , and it is the need of the hour to think reasonably and not just be a silent observer of disbelieves and locked mentality of people which are inculcated by the society , lets break this locker room first and then I believe after this things will fall in line.

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